


Akin to Ghosts

by idrilhadhafang



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Also known as a deleted scene that I actually liked, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Deleted Scenes, Flashbacks, Healing, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Inspired By The TLJ Deleted Scenes, Mentioned Finn, Missing Scene, Multi, Past Poe Dameron/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Poe Dameron & Finn Friendship, Poe Dameron/Ben Solo Mutual Pining, Pre-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, by that I mean he’s unconscious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-20 22:29:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20682971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: Poe repairing Finn’s jacket brings back old memories.





	Akin to Ghosts

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Cloth
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.

The jacket that Finn had — formerly Poe’s jacket — was effectively ruined — even looking over the scorch marks that were unmistakably lightsaber marks, it was enough to make Poe picture what exactly Kylo Ren (like he needed another reason to hate this monster) had done to Finn. How sadistic Ren must have been to him — not like that was anything new. During his crusades as the Jedi Killer, Ren had committed terrible atrocities. Probably took pleasure in them as well.   
  
And Finn...stars, but Finn must have been so brave. Facing up against this creature, knowing that he didn’t have any experience with a saber and yet doing all this anyway. Finn...in his way, he hadn’t just saved Poe from that prison on the Finalizer. He’d saved Poe in another way too — entering a broken heart that Poe has tried, vainly, to keep hidden from the rest of the galaxy. Finn was a good man. When he’d said it on D’Qar, he’d meant every word. It didn’t matter whether the rest of the Resistance accepted him. Poe accepted him, and Poe would defend him, no matter what happened.  
  
He had already given Finn his name. Names had power — had Finn’s parents had time to name him before their son was cruelly ripped away from them? Their own child. The First Order was cruel, that was a fact. And they were evil, no matter how their propaganda tried to portray them as the heroes. In a way, Poe didn’t need to get into the First Order’s head to know how evil they really were. It was as obvious as the color of a Naboo afternoon sky.  
  
Poe sighed. He wasn’t much of a sewer — he knew that much. Even his attempts to repair things through needle and thread as a kid really gave him more points for enthusiasm than actual skill.   
  
_“Uh, Poe? I’m not an expert, but I think you overdid it...” _  
  
Ben’s voice. Young Ben’s voice, from long ago.   
  
Poe closed his eyes. Even thinking of that memory was painful. Ben wasn’t here. Ben was lost out there, among the stars, probably another one of Kylo Ren’s victims. And something in Poe...something in Poe, though he tried to not show it, was lost too.  
  
Best to get to work. Best to try, better late than never. Even if he wasn’t much of a sewer, he could at least repay Finn somehow. He owed Finn one.  
  
_“You look...dashing.” The way that Ben looked at him — eighteen and just starting to come into his own himself — was almost akin to having seen an angel from Iego. Poe didn’t know how to feel about it; it wasn’t like he hated the attention or anything like that, but it was also disorienting. He’d gotten used to comments on his looks, appreciation for his face, including people in bars hitting on him. It wasn’t like Jess getting catcalled by drunks on one mission they went on, but the attention did give him a feeling of come-on-guys-let-me-breathe._  
  
He wasn’t accustomed to Ben looking at him with such amazement. Not I-want-this-guy-in-my-bed, but something akin to having seen a rare comet streak across Yavin’s night sky.   
  
Ben must have been embarrassed, because he said, “Well...for a pilot on a mission.”  
  
Poe laughed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”  
  
“I mean, you look good. You look...your part.” Ben sounded a bit shy. Poe decided he didn’t want to push it; he didn’t want to make Ben uncomfortable. “Very classic holo hero. You’re a...good face. I mean, it’s all professional, really — ”  
  
“I get it.” Even as Poe spoke, he knew full well that Ben wasn’t trying to make him uncomfortable. Stars, he didn’t even feel uncomfortable. He felt strangely enchanted — and he knew that it wasn’t just affection between two good friends. “I hope so. I mean, I wouldn’t be doing my job if I wasn’t a ‘good face’...”  
  
“You’re not just that,” Ben said. “I mean, you’re brave, you’re intelligent, you’re kind, you’re a natural leader. You’re everything I could never be.”  
  
Apparently, Ben had a talent for accidentally making Poe feel sorry for him. “Don’t say that. You’re better too. Better than you think you are.”  
  
It was worth it, seeing that look of almost incandescent joy on Ben’s face. And it was one of those moments where Poe knew that Ben Solo had made his way into his heart. He only wondered if Ben’s heart, troubled but kind, had a place for him.   
  
The rhythmic motions of the sewing took Poe’s mind off things a while, and even moments where he nicked himself with the needle were welcome distractions. It wasn’t just memories, but blood and nerves. He could live with that, cope with that.   
  
He thought of the times Ben was able to come over to the Dameron house and they watched old holos of pilots in X-wings. Ben’s awe of him — even the revelation that he made X-wings and A-wing models hardly put a dent in Ben looking at him through the Poe-is-wonderful goggles. (Which, really, Poe fancied himself a decent man, but he wasn’t a god) Exploring his mother’s old A-wing. Ben, showing off a few Force tricks — and Poe himself being awed by that talented, powerful being.  
  
Memories lived there, in that cloth. When he was done, Poe looked over the jacket — it was crude. That he knew. Finn didn’t have to know anything about the work he had done, or mourning for a boy he’d loved too much.   
  
Finn didn’t need to know that, in those stitches, Poe had all but poured his soul into them.  
  
He approached medbay. Finn was in one of those bacta tubes — the way he looked, he might as well have just fallen asleep, right there, right now. Poe’s heart ached looking at him. Kalonia was watching over him; she looked like she had barely slept.  
  
“Hey, Doc,” Poe said. “Sorry to bother you. I, um...I thought I’d repair Finn’s jacket; it got torn up in that fight with Kylo.”  
  
Kalonia smiled. “Of course you did. You should keep it — it’s best you give it to him when he wakes up.”  
  
“Good point. Just...how is he?”  
  
“Recovering,” Kalonia said. “Medicine nowadays really is miraculous, actually.”  
  
“Can’t disagree there. I’ll...give him the jacket when he wakes up. I’m a terrible sewer, but...”  
  
Kalonia nodded. “He means a great deal to you, doesn’t he?”  
  
“He’s my friend.” Poe said. “One of my best friends. I owe him everything.”  
  
“Then,” Kalonia said, “That’s what matters. You should pack your things; you know we’re running out of time to get away from D’Qar.”  
  
Poe nodded. “Thank you, Doc.”  
  
Kalonia nodded. And even walking away, Poe knew that he couldn’t save Ben now. But he could keep this jacket safe — at least until Finn’s return.


End file.
